








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1039 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 737 | 31% |
| Smokes | 610 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 514 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 545 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $109,644 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Moon | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | -[biqut2]- | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | iCake | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | BangBros.Inc | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Gum Cuzzler | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BangBros.Inc | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Gum Cuzzler | 50% | 40 |
| #6 | B0WchickaW0W | 49% | 45 |
| #7 | Rid3ordi3 | 47% | 45 |
| #8 | biqut2 | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B0WchickaW0W | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | BangBros.Inc | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Gum Cuzzler | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | -[biqut2]- | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | biqut2 | 1 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B0WchickaW0W | 241 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #2 | Rid3ordi3 | 184 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Gum Cuzzler | 128 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | BangBros.Inc | 128 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | -[biqut2]- | 83 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOBO | +1.43 | 79 | 54 |
| #2 | ✪Moon | +1.34 | 75 | 49 |
| #3 | iCake | +1.07 | 75 | 54 |
| #4 | Rid3ordi3 | +0.01 | 71 | 52 |
| #5 | B0WchickaW0W | -0.01 | 77 | 70 |





