








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 297 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 163 matches | ||
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2350 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2541 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1326 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2722 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,090,181 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 257 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | senshi | 74% | 27 |
| #2 | pio pio | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | dinky | 67% | 27 |
| #4 | Axessor | 61% | 18 |
| #5 | estrogenized | 57% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Solaris | 53% | 55 |
| #8 | Giuseppe | 50% | 48 |
| #9 | boxxy | 50% | 50 |
| #10 | maced1 | 49% | 63 |
| #11 | tao | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solaris | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Giuseppe | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | boxxy | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | tao | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Axessor | 2 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Myers | 292 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #2 | senshi | 190 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| #3 | maced1 | 188 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | estrogenized | 177 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | Giuseppe | 175 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ethanol | +2.43 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | Mr Myers | +1.58 | 66 | 66 |
| #3 | dinky | +1.09 | 71 | 56 |
| #4 | pio pio | +0.97 | 68 | 56 |
| #5 | Giuseppe | +0.25 | 64 | 69 |





