








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 231 matches | ||
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4591 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5016 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2669 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3272 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2997 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,568,542 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 283 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | /thraz | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | babywiggles | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | pio pio | 58% | 67 |
| #4 | JuS | 58% | 26 |
| #5 | Ethanol | 57% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | JuS | 58% | 26 |
| #5 | Ethanol | 57% | 37 |
| #6 | SOLDIER | 46% | 26 |
| #7 | boxxy | 44% | 97 |
| #8 | holly | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holly | 8 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | boxxy | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | pio pio | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | JuS | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | /thraz | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pio pio | 198 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | boxxy | 147 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | babywiggles | 119 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | /thraz | 91 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | holly | 68 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ethanol | +3.26 | 84 | 54 |
| #2 | pio pio | +2.16 | 70 | 63 |
| #3 | babywiggles | +1.87 | 73 | 63 |
| #4 | /thraz | +1.58 | 92 | 42 |
| #5 | holly | +0.66 | 69 | 31 |





