








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 469 matches | ||
| Faceit | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7561 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4950 | 20% |
| Smokes | 7726 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4635 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 7141 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,746,267 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Ethanol | 50% | 50 |
| #10 | JuS | 48% | 83 |
| #11 | window | 45% | 187 |
| #12 | estrogenized | 44% | 97 |
| #13 | friend | 44% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holly | 37 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | window | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | estrogenized | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | JuS | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | pizza七十三 | 6 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Birb | 449 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #2 | pizza七十三 | 361 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | estrogenized | 356 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | holly | 331 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | window | 274 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ethanol | +3.90 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | 9/11 footwerk | +3.66 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | Freya 🏳️⚧ | +2.74 | 88 | 56 |
| #4 | holly | +1.67 | 70 | 31 |
| #5 | axolotl | +1.42 | 63 | 59 |





