










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,645 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 599 | 23% |
| Smokes | 764 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 544 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 738 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $166,465 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mung Daal | 43% | 14 |
| #2 | chobani | 39% | 23 |
| #3 | Globtonio | 38% | 37 |
| #4 | Scary Terry The Terry | 37% | 27 |
| #5 | Shia LaBoeuf | 35% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | chobani | 39% | 23 |
| #3 | Globtonio | 38% | 37 |
| #4 | Scary Terry The Terry | 37% | 27 |
| #5 | Shia LaBoeuf | 35% | 46 |
| #6 | chork | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chobani | 6 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | Shia LaBoeuf | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Globtonio | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Scary Terry The Terry | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | chork | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Globtonio | 102 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | chobani | 96 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | Scary Terry The Terry | 45 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Shia LaBoeuf | 40 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mung Daal | 29 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chobani | +8.67 | 68 | 72 |
| #2 | Shia LaBoeuf | +0.68 | 25 | 42 |
| #3 | Mung Daal | +0.55 | 17 | 48 |
| #4 | Notorious B.I.G. Bird | -2.48 | 40 | 53 |
| #5 | chork | -4.32 | 29 | 24 |





