










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
208 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 155 | 46% |
| Smokes | 64 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 51 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 64 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $63,274 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chobani | 38% | 21 |
| #2 | Notorious B.I.G. Bird | 37% | 27 |
| #3 | Shia LaBoeuf | 34% | 38 |
| #4 | chork | 33% | 12 |
| #5 | Globtonio | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Notorious B.I.G. Bird | 37% | 27 |
| #3 | Shia LaBoeuf | 34% | 38 |
| #4 | chork | 33% | 12 |
| #5 | Globtonio | 25% | 24 |
| #6 | Mung Daal | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Notorious B.I.G. Bird | 12 | 0.0220 |
| #2 | chobani | 5 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | Shia LaBoeuf | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Globtonio | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Mung Daal | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Notorious B.I.G. Bird | 110 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | chobani | 89 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | Globtonio | 73 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Shia LaBoeuf | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mung Daal | 17 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chobani | +8.45 | 68 | 74 |
| #2 | Shia LaBoeuf | +2.19 | 25 | 41 |
| #3 | Mung Daal | -0.74 | 18 | 35 |
| #4 | chork | -3.63 | 30 | 21 |
| #5 | Notorious B.I.G. Bird | -3.84 | 36 | 45 |





