










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
207 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 211 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 114 | 54% |
| Smokes | 43 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 24 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 30 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $56,056 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mung Daal | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | chobani | 39% | 18 |
| #3 | Shia LaBoeuf | 34% | 29 |
| #4 | Scary Terry The Terry | 33% | 12 |
| #5 | Globtonio | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | chobani | 39% | 18 |
| #3 | Shia LaBoeuf | 34% | 29 |
| #4 | Scary Terry The Terry | 33% | 12 |
| #5 | Globtonio | 29% | 14 |
| #6 | Notorious B.I.G. Bird | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chobani | 5 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | Notorious B.I.G. Bird | 5 | 0.0199 |
| #3 | Shia LaBoeuf | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Globtonio | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Scary Terry The Terry | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chobani | 70 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | Notorious B.I.G. Bird | 50 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | Globtonio | 44 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mung Daal | 35 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Scary Terry The Terry | 20 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chobani | +5.47 | 62 | 77 |
| #2 | Shia LaBoeuf | +2.65 | 28 | 36 |
| #3 | Mung Daal | -0.38 | 20 | 47 |
| #4 | chork | -3.52 | 36 | 25 |
| #5 | Notorious B.I.G. Bird | -3.57 | 37 | 54 |





