










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
335 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,303 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 457 | 35% |
| Smokes | 618 | 47% |
| HE Grenades | 60 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 168 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $195,905 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Notorious B.I.G. Bird | 38% | 37 |
| #2 | chobani | 36% | 25 |
| #3 | Shia LaBoeuf | 30% | 46 |
| #4 | chork | 29% | 14 |
| #5 | Scary Terry The Terry | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | chobani | 36% | 25 |
| #3 | Shia LaBoeuf | 30% | 46 |
| #4 | chork | 29% | 14 |
| #5 | Scary Terry The Terry | 25% | 24 |
| #6 | Mung Daal | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Notorious B.I.G. Bird | 18 | 0.0250 |
| #2 | chobani | 11 | 0.0215 |
| #3 | Shia LaBoeuf | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Scary Terry The Terry | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | chork | 2 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Notorious B.I.G. Bird | 125 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | chobani | 89 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Shia LaBoeuf | 40 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mung Daal | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Scary Terry The Terry | 27 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chobani | +6.89 | 61 | 72 |
| #2 | Shia LaBoeuf | +1.78 | 31 | 44 |
| #3 | Mung Daal | -1.27 | 15 | 34 |
| #4 | Notorious B.I.G. Bird | -2.77 | 29 | 51 |
| #5 | chork | -3.76 | 37 | 28 |





