








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 447 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2917 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,620 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5535 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3681 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2451 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2953 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $716,193 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 630 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Shia LaBoeuf | 43% | 37 |
| #8 | Robbie | 42% | 24 |
| #9 | Notorious B.I.G. Bird | 39% | 23 |
| #10 | Scary Terry The Terry | 38% | 21 |
| #11 | Globtonio | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Notorious B.I.G. Bird | 11 | 0.0240 |
| #2 | Ya Motha | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Globtonio | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Scary Terry The Terry | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | Yuppers | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yuppers | 504 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | DaveDragonface | 93 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ya Motha | 93 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Notorious B.I.G. Bird | 91 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | Robbie | 88 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chobani | +1.91 | 68 | 69 |
| #2 | Ya Motha | +1.22 | 69 | 42 |
| #3 | Yuppers | +0.33 | 74 | 62 |
| #4 | Shia LaBoeuf | +0.01 | 28 | 40 |
| #5 | JAWNMAYOR | -0.28 | 71 | 54 |





