








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 828 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5015 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1819 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2817 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2915 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3648 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,573,251 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 399 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MON | 72% | 64 |
| #2 | ThEScOoP | 69% | 68 |
| #3 | prospekt | 66% | 148 |
| #4 | Stewie2Dads | 64% | 135 |
| #5 | TOP50OWEN | 62% | 248 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Bit37 | 60% | 42 |
| #9 | warpN | 59% | 161 |
| #10 | pZ | 58% | 78 |
| #11 | JESTER | 57% | 23 |
| #12 | Coffee | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J13K | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | TOP50OWEN | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | ThEScOoP | 10 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | St. Brick | 9 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | prospekt | 8 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOP50OWEN | 1062 | 0.21 | 28 min |
| #2 | Stewie2Dads | 605 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #3 | warpN | 563 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #4 | J13K | 514 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #5 | prospekt | 413 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roboscob | +2.80 | 84 | 57 |
| #2 | MON | +2.41 | 79 | 61 |
| #3 | prospekt | +2.19 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | JESTER | +1.75 | 76 | 79 |
| #5 | J13K | +1.31 | 85 | 68 |





