








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 872 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Faceit | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,161 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4865 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3791 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4512 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4993 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,360,567 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 620 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eekum bokum | 79% | 28 |
| #2 | ThEScOoP | 72% | 43 |
| #3 | Stewie2Dads | 67% | 112 |
| #4 | St. Brick | 67% | 30 |
| #5 | roboscob | 66% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | JackPot | 63% | 27 |
| #12 | aaa | 62% | 29 |
| #13 | ShraMn | 57% | 28 |
| #14 | captain crunch | 56% | 36 |
| #15 | Reverend Dr. Big Jay | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOP50OWEN | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | enfohip | 11 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | J13K | 10 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | ThEScOoP | 9 | 0.0105 |
| #5 | roboscob | 8 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOP50OWEN | 947 | 0.22 | 25 min |
| #2 | Stewie2Dads | 521 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #3 | J13K | 464 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #4 | enfohip | 321 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #5 | warpN | 203 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prospekt | +2.76 | 69 | 63 |
| #2 | eekum bokum | +2.53 | 86 | 77 |
| #3 | roboscob | +2.29 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | enfohip | +1.91 | 75 | 70 |
| #5 | J13K | +1.63 | 85 | 67 |





