








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 663 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,765 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4039 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2869 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1464 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2393 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $725,495 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MON | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | prospekt | 64% | 66 |
| #3 | St. Brick | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | Bit37 | 62% | 34 |
| #5 | J13K | 60% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ThEScOoP | 56% | 39 |
| #8 | TOP50OWEN | 52% | 89 |
| #9 | Stewie2Dads | 51% | 85 |
| #10 | pZ | 43% | 21 |
| #11 | Coffee | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roboscob | 14 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | J13K | 5 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | prospekt | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | ThEScOoP | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | St. Brick | 4 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stewie2Dads | 418 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | TOP50OWEN | 397 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | prospekt | 211 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | roboscob | 187 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | J13K | 152 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MON | +3.53 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | roboscob | +3.13 | 86 | 55 |
| #3 | prospekt | +1.85 | 63 | 63 |
| #4 | J13K | +1.37 | 86 | 69 |
| #5 | Stewie2Dads | +1.20 | 79 | 64 |





