








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 349 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2479 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2423 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1802 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3443 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3044 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $943,894 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cadet | 69% | 32 |
| #2 | Chooch | 64% | 39 |
| #3 | west side bowling | 61% | 412 |
| #4 | Lean_ | 61% | 384 |
| #5 | Garrison | 60% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | west side bowling | 61% | 412 |
| #4 | Lean_ | 61% | 384 |
| #5 | Garrison | 60% | 104 |
| #6 | zA | 59% | 49 |
| #7 | Bernard♛ | 58% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | west side bowling | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Lean_ | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Chooch | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Bernard♛ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Garrison | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lean_ | 641 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | west side bowling | 617 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #3 | zA | 156 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bernard♛ | 123 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Garrison | 80 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bernard♛ | +1.77 | 85 | 76 |
| #2 | zA | +1.14 | 78 | 67 |
| #3 | Lean_ | +1.13 | 72 | 65 |
| #4 | k4yz | +0.82 | 79 | 54 |
| #5 | west side bowling | +0.58 | 76 | 61 |





