








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 815 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 544 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7913 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,662 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4411 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6252 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5789 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6210 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,022,043 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 559 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | west side bowling | 56% | 124 |
| #6 | Doublecuplow | 54% | 46 |
| #7 | Pookie | 48% | 294 |
| #8 | gznate | 48% | 120 |
| #9 | littleUwUziVert | 47% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pookie | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Possum | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | west side bowling | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | gznate | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | littleUwUziVert | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pookie | 1159 | 0.19 | 26 min |
| #2 | Possum | 860 | 0.23 | 23 min |
| #3 | west side bowling | 346 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | gznate | 287 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | littleUwUziVert | 271 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lean_ | +2.18 | 75 | 67 |
| #2 | Pookie | +1.65 | 82 | 55 |
| #3 | west side bowling | +1.10 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | Chooch | +0.81 | 67 | 60 |
| #5 | Putt Putt Saves The Zoo | +0.64 | 73 | 66 |





