








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 287 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1024 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1142 | 36% |
| Smokes | 711 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 831 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 514 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $507,926 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rupzy | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | eCo | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | cKR[e] | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | ✪ Kevin2k | 50% | 40 |
| #5 | phugoth | 48% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | FsK[e] | 44% | 50 |
| #9 | hELLL | 43% | 44 |
| #10 | Trashcan | 36% | 14 |
| #11 | gauths | 35% | 20 |
| #12 | Two Wine Glass In | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oc | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | phugoth | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | hELLL | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | ✪ Kevin2k | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | cKR[e] | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oc | 273 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | hELLL | 160 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | phugoth | 114 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | cKR[e] | 79 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪ Kevin2k | 56 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oc | +2.40 | 78 | 75 |
| #2 | Rupzy | +2.10 | 82 | 52 |
| #3 | FsK[e] | +0.54 | 71 | 63 |
| #4 | cKR[e] | +0.09 | 55 | 77 |
| #5 | hELLL | -0.26 | 72 | 59 |





