








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,840 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1280 | 26% |
| Smokes | 982 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1582 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 996 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $176,505 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ AToN ツ | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | ROnn¥♛Ca$h | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | z00ie[M] ' be quiet! | 61% | 41 |
| #4 | Astinox | 59% | 37 |
| #5 | Chair-No-Bill | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | DJAima | 53% | 15 |
| #8 | Ickelmoc | 53% | 81 |
| #9 | yawn | 47% | 17 |
| #10 | kuuba | 44% | 9 |
| #11 | Murphy | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noizz | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Ickelmoc | 5 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noizz | 487 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | Ickelmoc | 108 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | yawn | 53 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Astinox | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✪ AToN ツ | 38 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noizz | +3.21 | 87 | 70 |
| #2 | kuuba | +1.95 | 69 | 46 |
| #3 | yawn | +1.92 | 81 | 61 |
| #4 | ROnn¥♛Ca$h | +1.56 | 74 | 60 |
| #5 | ✪ AToN ツ | +1.24 | 41 | 58 |





