








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2278 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2245 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3876 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3117 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2051 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $986,472 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Endac | 53% | 81 |
| #2 | ringo | 51% | 59 |
| #3 | Cookie | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | AWPhoenix | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | Noizz | 49% | 295 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noizz | 22 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Cookie | 7 | 0.0181 |
| #3 | ringo | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Endac | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | AWPhoenix | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noizz | 1396 | 0.22 | 32 min |
| #2 | Endac | 183 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | ringo | 166 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | AWPhoenix | 143 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | JinSoo | 116 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noizz | +2.66 | 86 | 71 |
| #2 | bonki サル | +2.52 | 100 | 34 |
| #3 | AWPhoenix | +1.20 | 85 | 68 |
| #4 | JinSoo | +0.23 | 79 | 64 |
| #5 | Yhite | +0.14 | 71 | 43 |





