








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1476 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 292 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6024 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5084 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4898 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3625 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,704,105 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 878 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deva_mari | 60% | 108 |
| #2 | lonny | 59% | 130 |
| #3 | Mr. Tojo | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | -->Amen!TY<-- | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | MurDoC | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MurDoC | 49% | 37 |
| #6 | jmv | 47% | 77 |
| #7 | elmod | 41% | 58 |
| #8 | jack | 41% | 68 |
| #9 | アンディ | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lonny | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | jmv | 11 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | jack | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | deva_mari | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | MurDoC | 5 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lonny | 621 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | jack | 406 | 0.31 | 12 min |
| #3 | jmv | 362 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #4 | deva_mari | 299 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | -->Amen!TY<-- | 235 | 0.34 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lonny | +4.84 | 61 | 71 |
| #2 | Robbie Rotten | +1.31 | 70 | 57 |
| #3 | MurDoC | +1.11 | 53 | 64 |
| #4 | jack | +0.85 | 56 | 64 |
| #5 | jmv | -0.18 | 58 | 68 |





