








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2534 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3494 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1924 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 813 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 2065 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $333,335 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n3b[s] | 64% | 72 |
| #2 | HEMANNN | 59% | 116 |
| #3 | schooled | 59% | 46 |
| #4 | lanimal | 56% | 48 |
| #5 | Envy | 54% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | schooled | 59% | 46 |
| #4 | lanimal | 56% | 48 |
| #5 | Envy | 54% | 63 |
| #6 | Key_On | 49% | 75 |
| #7 | bees | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEMANNN | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Key_On | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | lanimal | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | n3b[s] | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Envy | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEMANNN | 532 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | lanimal | 276 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #3 | Key_On | 226 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Envy | 220 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | schooled | 188 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KEN1 | +2.73 | 91 | 65 |
| #2 | schooled | +2.21 | 84 | 63 |
| #3 | HEMANNN | +1.43 | 79 | 54 |
| #4 | lanimal | +1.10 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | n3b[s] | +0.60 | 77 | 54 |





