








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,526 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2943 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1833 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2194 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1556 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $605,550 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 627 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swilLy | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | Levi | 58% | 67 |
| #3 | ZigZee | 56% | 79 |
| #4 | Tazmo | 53% | 86 |
| #5 | Void_NGU | 53% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Element | 52% | 25 |
| #7 | Rayne | 47% | 116 |
| #8 | e30.jp | 45% | 20 |
| #9 | Private | 31% | 16 |
| #10 | SPINCH | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rayne | 14 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Void_NGU | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Private | 6 | 0.0172 |
| #4 | Tazmo | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Levi | 5 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tazmo | 705 | 0.38 | 21 min |
| #2 | Void_NGU | 472 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | ZigZee | 367 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | Rayne | 243 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Levi | 209 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Void_NGU | +3.64 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | swilLy | +1.75 | 88 | 73 |
| #3 | Tazmo | +0.86 | 83 | 71 |
| #4 | Private | +0.42 | 54 | 61 |
| #5 | Sqerl | +0.06 | 75 | 67 |





