








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 511 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4720 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3337 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3598 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1958 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,297,533 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 484 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | E-tRaX | 53% | 301 |
| #7 | BusiG | 51% | 172 |
| #8 | Luzny | 50% | 50 |
| #9 | toaster oven | 48% | 117 |
| #10 | pinder23 | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bobby butthole | 32 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Kristyboi | 30 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Interment | 25 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | E-tRaX | 23 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | BusiG | 13 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E-tRaX | 1061 | 0.17 | 32 min |
| #2 | Interment | 538 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | Kristyboi | 483 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #4 | bobby butthole | 437 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | BusiG | 421 | 0.12 | 7 min |





