








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5297 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3988 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3678 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2748 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3135 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $717,359 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1496 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E-tRaX | 548 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | aleXé =DDD | 476 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | Luzny | 333 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | Kristyboi | 263 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | bobby butthole | 161 | 0.08 | 4 min |





