








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 766 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4822 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,943 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4564 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3515 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3033 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3831 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,350,097 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moone | 64% | 47 |
| #2 | bobby butthole | 60% | 222 |
| #3 | BusiG | 59% | 101 |
| #4 | Interment | 57% | 167 |
| #5 | Kristyboi | 56% | 320 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bobby butthole | 38 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Interment | 30 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Kristyboi | 23 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | aleXé =DDD | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | BusiG | 8 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aleXé =DDD | 1134 | 0.19 | 30 min |
| #2 | Interment | 628 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #3 | Luzny | 553 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #4 | Kristyboi | 509 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #5 | bobby butthole | 377 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Interment | +4.60 | 80 | 73 |
| #2 | Kristyboi | +2.25 | 91 | 48 |
| #3 | E-tRaX | +1.62 | 72 | 60 |
| #4 | BusiG | +0.19 | 74 | 56 |
| #5 | aleXé =DDD | -0.21 | 75 | 63 |





