








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 429 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4780 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3771 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4766 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4253 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3347 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,042,293 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 310 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Interment | 62% | 102 |
| #2 | E-tRaX | 60% | 222 |
| #3 | Luzny | 57% | 76 |
| #4 | Kristyboi | 55% | 292 |
| #5 | aleXé =DDD | 55% | 253 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kristyboi | 34 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Interment | 25 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | BusiG | 17 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | E-tRaX | 17 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | aleXé =DDD | 10 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aleXé =DDD | 940 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #2 | E-tRaX | 851 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #3 | BusiG | 541 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | Kristyboi | 452 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #5 | Interment | 433 | 0.21 | 10 min |





