








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6629 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6485 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6341 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7299 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5204 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $758,229 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1827 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reme | 56% | 148 |
| #2 | SW!NK | 51% | 350 |
| #3 | Aciri | 51% | 84 |
| #4 | Phlogiston | 51% | 94 |
| #5 | 2002 | 49% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 2002 | 49% | 45 |
| #6 | koysi^ | 49% | 90 |
| #7 | Game Honey | 49% | 113 |
| #8 | yungpxl | 49% | 268 |
| #9 | zyn | 48% | 316 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SW!NK | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | zyn | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | koysi^ | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | yungpxl | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | 2002 | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zyn | 873 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #2 | SW!NK | 751 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | yungpxl | 294 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | reme | 284 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Game Honey | 163 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reme | +3.49 | 86 | 54 |
| #2 | Reta | +3.30 | 65 | 63 |
| #3 | Aciri | +1.43 | 82 | 46 |
| #4 | zyn | +0.17 | 61 | 52 |
| #5 | 2002 | -0.63 | 67 | 33 |





