








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2097 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1311 | 22% |
| Smokes | 921 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2591 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 1023 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $588,290 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2002 | 55% | 22 |
| #2 | Reta | 49% | 113 |
| #3 | SW!NK | 48% | 126 |
| #4 | Aciri | 46% | 65 |
| #5 | zyn | 41% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | zyn | 41% | 206 |
| #6 | koysi^ | 41% | 37 |
| #7 | Phlogiston | 39% | 51 |
| #8 | yungpxl | 39% | 97 |
| #9 | Duck | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reta | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | zyn | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | SW!NK | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | yungpxl | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | 2002 | 3 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zyn | 531 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Reta | 386 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | SW!NK | 256 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | yungpxl | 126 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Aciri | 76 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reta | +4.26 | 68 | 61 |
| #2 | 2002 | +2.00 | 64 | 31 |
| #3 | Aciri | +1.70 | 84 | 36 |
| #4 | zyn | +0.84 | 61 | 55 |
| #5 | SW!NK | -0.02 | 61 | 52 |





