








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,805 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5151 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3174 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5528 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2952 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $826,438 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 855 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Randy Bobandy | 57% | 77 |
| #2 | 2002 | 52% | 64 |
| #3 | Reta | 51% | 350 |
| #4 | Aciri | 50% | 82 |
| #5 | Phlogiston | 49% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Phlogiston | 49% | 92 |
| #6 | Game Honey | 48% | 126 |
| #7 | yungpxl | 47% | 341 |
| #8 | zyn | 46% | 328 |
| #9 | koysi^ | 40% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reta | 22 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | zyn | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | yungpxl | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Phlogiston | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | koysi^ | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reta | 1207 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #2 | zyn | 894 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #3 | yungpxl | 458 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | Randy Bobandy | 234 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Game Honey | 163 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reta | +4.28 | 66 | 62 |
| #2 | Aciri | +2.02 | 82 | 44 |
| #3 | 2002 | +0.63 | 67 | 30 |
| #4 | zyn | +0.40 | 58 | 51 |
| #5 | Randy Bobandy | +0.13 | 56 | 51 |





