








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2245 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,857 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1240 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1083 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1722 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1812 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $343,478 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 353 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reta | 56% | 148 |
| #2 | Aciri | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | SW!NK | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | yungpxl | 50% | 50 |
| #5 | Phlogiston | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SW!NK | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | yungpxl | 50% | 50 |
| #5 | Phlogiston | 40% | 20 |
| #6 | zyn | 39% | 38 |
| #7 | koysi^ | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reta | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | SW!NK | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reta | 535 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | zyn | 110 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | SW!NK | 42 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | yungpxl | 28 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Phlogiston | 16 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reme | +3.46 | 85 | 55 |
| #2 | Reta | +1.38 | 64 | 62 |
| #3 | Aciri | +0.69 | 86 | 39 |
| #4 | zyn | +0.39 | 65 | 51 |
| #5 | Phlogiston | -1.45 | 68 | 24 |





