








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1247 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1688 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1041 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1400 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 455 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $459,154 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vSkate | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Shiro | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Guy In Bathtub | 57% | 93 |
| #4 | nectarine_consumer | 55% | 78 |
| #5 | Elyassu | 53% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Bóbr | 52% | 91 |
| #7 | Boothy | 51% | 123 |
| #8 | Senior man with broccoli dumbell | 51% | 51 |
| #9 | BodgerBedge | 47% | 15 |
| #10 | к о г и. | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boothy | 19 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Guy In Bathtub | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Senior man with broccoli dumbell | 8 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | nectarine_consumer | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Elyassu | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boothy | 481 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | Guy In Bathtub | 379 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | Elyassu | 378 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | Bóbr | 294 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #5 | к о г и. | 134 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | к о г и. | +2.03 | 68 | 71 |
| #2 | vSkate | +1.71 | 66 | 64 |
| #3 | Elyassu | +1.44 | 68 | 63 |
| #4 | nectarine_consumer | +1.43 | 55 | 53 |
| #5 | Bóbr | +1.05 | 39 | 75 |





