








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,803 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3249 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4148 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2835 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2571 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,037,985 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fidjar | 58% | 38 |
| #2 | TheFalcon | 56% | 113 |
| #3 | Godfaren | 54% | 182 |
| #4 | Jas | 53% | 153 |
| #5 | Joho | 52% | 317 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Godfaren | 54% | 182 |
| #4 | Jas | 53% | 153 |
| #5 | Joho | 52% | 317 |
| #6 | swift | 48% | 66 |
| #7 | Pizzasnurr | 48% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Godfaren | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Pizzasnurr | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | swift | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Joho | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Jas | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Godfaren | 689 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | Joho | 680 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #3 | swift | 420 | 0.31 | 12 min |
| #4 | Pizzasnurr | 336 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #5 | TheFalcon | 182 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joho | +2.47 | 68 | 64 |
| #2 | Godfaren | +1.84 | 68 | 56 |
| #3 | Pizzasnurr | +0.43 | 70 | 65 |
| #4 | swift | +0.12 | 46 | 68 |
| #5 | Jas | -0.89 | 72 | 49 |





