








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,812 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3960 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2912 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3602 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2338 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $907,541 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 206 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheFalcon | 59% | 147 |
| #2 | Godfaren | 58% | 243 |
| #3 | Fidjar | 56% | 43 |
| #4 | Jas | 55% | 185 |
| #5 | swift | 53% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Fidjar | 56% | 43 |
| #4 | Jas | 55% | 185 |
| #5 | swift | 53% | 70 |
| #6 | Pizzasnurr | 53% | 192 |
| #7 | Primate | 52% | 317 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Primate | 20 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Godfaren | 14 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Pizzasnurr | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Jas | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | swift | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Primate | 1152 | 0.18 | 29 min |
| #2 | Godfaren | 929 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #3 | swift | 443 | 0.30 | 13 min |
| #4 | Pizzasnurr | 423 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #5 | Jas | 225 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joho | +2.42 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | Godfaren | +1.98 | 69 | 57 |
| #3 | Pizzasnurr | +0.36 | 73 | 65 |
| #4 | swift | +0.10 | 50 | 72 |
| #5 | Jas | -1.02 | 71 | 49 |





