








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 246 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2519 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,984 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2637 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2758 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3326 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2263 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $899,968 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheFalcon | 55% | 76 |
| #2 | Godfaren | 53% | 150 |
| #3 | Joho | 53% | 192 |
| #4 | Jas | 49% | 99 |
| #5 | Primate | 48% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jas | 49% | 99 |
| #5 | Primate | 48% | 152 |
| #6 | swift | 48% | 42 |
| #7 | Zotrm | 46% | 28 |
| #8 | SalmoN | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Godfaren | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Joho | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Primate | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Jas | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | SalmoN | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Godfaren | 581 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #2 | Primate | 492 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | Joho | 400 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | swift | 276 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| #5 | SalmoN | 226 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SalmoN | +1.91 | 75 | 73 |
| #2 | Joho | +1.28 | 70 | 65 |
| #3 | Godfaren | +1.13 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | Pizzasnurr | +0.22 | 72 | 66 |
| #5 | swift | -0.86 | 49 | 71 |





