








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 884 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 455 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 136 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




105 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6280 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12098 | 37% |
| Smokes | 9641 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5061 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 6087 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,711,269 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1054 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joho | 53% | 70 |
| #2 | Jas | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | Godfaren | 51% | 49 |
| #4 | Primate | 48% | 66 |
| #5 | Pizzasnurr | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Primate | 223 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Godfaren | 181 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Joho | 147 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Pizzasnurr | 86 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jas | 38 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joho | +2.91 | 67 | 65 |
| #2 | Godfaren | +1.47 | 71 | 59 |
| #3 | swift | +0.90 | 50 | 69 |
| #4 | Pizzasnurr | +0.28 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | Jas | -0.85 | 74 | 49 |





