








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1541 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 876 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1050 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1696 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1068 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $622,683 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fidjar | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Joho | 55% | 185 |
| #3 | TheFalcon | 54% | 78 |
| #4 | Primate | 53% | 153 |
| #5 | swift | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | TheFalcon | 54% | 78 |
| #4 | Primate | 53% | 153 |
| #5 | swift | 53% | 40 |
| #6 | Godfaren | 53% | 120 |
| #7 | Pizzasnurr | 49% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Godfaren | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Primate | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Pizzasnurr | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | swift | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Joho | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Primate | 591 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | Godfaren | 495 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #3 | Joho | 420 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | Pizzasnurr | 230 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | swift | 224 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joho | +2.81 | 71 | 67 |
| #2 | Godfaren | +2.02 | 71 | 57 |
| #3 | Pizzasnurr | +0.23 | 73 | 69 |
| #4 | swift | +0.15 | 48 | 69 |
| #5 | Jas | -0.80 | 72 | 50 |





