








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3981 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,716 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3014 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2397 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2838 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2467 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $998,571 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 999 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | AthenA 死鬼 | 58% | 203 |
| #7 | F[A]ll3n[A]nG3L | 57% | 35 |
| #8 | Hasserfülltes Verhalten | 57% | 147 |
| #9 | vamiN | 54% | 28 |
| #10 | carryme | 51% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AthenA 死鬼 | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Hasserfülltes Verhalten | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | carryme | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Lady_dark* | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | vamiN | 3 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AthenA 死鬼 | 426 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | Hasserfülltes Verhalten | 164 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | ProstoVisq | 145 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | carryme | 112 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lady_dark* | 97 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FrenZy | +4.17 | 90 | 65 |
| #2 | F[A]ll3n[A]nG3L | +1.74 | 73 | 44 |
| #3 | Hasserfülltes Verhalten | +1.60 | 76 | 52 |
| #4 | ProstoVisq | +0.80 | 64 | 51 |
| #5 | vamiN | +0.51 | 87 | 53 |





