








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 644 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4959 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3035 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2951 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3758 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2509 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,595,642 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2787 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FrenZy | 67% | 45 |
| #2 | sukune | 58% | 53 |
| #3 | F[A]ll3n[A]nG3L | 56% | 48 |
| #4 | Hasserfülltes Verhalten | 53% | 126 |
| #5 | nshao | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cocaine Decisions | 14 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Hasserfülltes Verhalten | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | AthenA 死鬼 | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | carryme | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Lady_dark* | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AthenA 死鬼 | 569 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | Cocaine Decisions | 293 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | carryme | 214 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hasserfülltes Verhalten | 182 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | sukune | 159 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FrenZy | +4.13 | 89 | 67 |
| #2 | ProstoVisq | +2.39 | 72 | 55 |
| #3 | Hasserfülltes Verhalten | +2.23 | 74 | 52 |
| #4 | sukune | +1.87 | 87 | 67 |
| #5 | F[A]ll3n[A]nG3L | +1.31 | 68 | 46 |





