








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2286 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1249 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2819 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2083 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,550,009 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ♿Brzeszczot | 53% | 317 |
| #5 | CHiiiiLL | 51% | 314 |
| #6 | ?KozloS | 49% | 81 |
| #7 | IceMat | 49% | 105 |
| #8 | Ceran69 | 48% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿Brzeszczot | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | CHiiiiLL | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Franciszek | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | IceMat | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Ceran69 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿Brzeszczot | 1994 | 0.30 | 61 min |
| #2 | CHiiiiLL | 1197 | 0.18 | 37 min |
| #3 | Franciszek | 1068 | 0.17 | 31 min |
| #4 | Ceran69 | 270 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | IceMat | 218 | 0.10 | 5 min |





