








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 349 matches | ||
| Wingman | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 13 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 225 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,852 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8551 | 23% |
| Smokes | 10714 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 10060 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 7527 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,697,848 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 671 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | pHazEd | 42% | 125 |
| #12 | Jelly | 41% | 198 |
| #13 | Divine | 41% | 220 |
| #14 | ShweetTee | 40% | 206 |
| #15 | Thor_zane YT | 38% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Filthy Casual | 2219 | 0.34 | 67 min |
| #2 | Treble | 1075 | 0.08 | 30 min |
| #3 | TonyPepproni | 678 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #4 | ShweetTee | 479 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #5 | Divine | 462 | 0.11 | 10 min |





