








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 297 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,781 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2261 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1862 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2464 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1194 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $983,873 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 488 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EdgeOfaKHole | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | TonyPepproni | 50% | 76 |
| #3 | Treble | 48% | 193 |
| #4 | pHazEd | 43% | 30 |
| #5 | Filthy Casual | 42% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | MyspaceTom | 41% | 34 |
| #7 | Johnny Hollywood | 40% | 206 |
| #8 | Jelly | 39% | 44 |
| #9 | Planned Trannyhood | 34% | 89 |
| #10 | FrattyPatty | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Planned Trannyhood | 15 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Treble | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Filthy Casual | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Johnny Hollywood | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | TonyPepproni | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Filthy Casual | 677 | 0.29 | 20 min |
| #2 | Johnny Hollywood | 309 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Treble | 305 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | TonyPepproni | 292 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #5 | Planned Trannyhood | 96 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Treble | +4.15 | 73 | 70 |
| #2 | TonyPepproni | +3.95 | 75 | 79 |
| #3 | EdgeOfaKHole | +3.16 | 77 | 21 |
| #4 | pHazEd | -0.28 | 44 | 76 |
| #5 | Filthy Casual | -0.31 | 67 | 84 |





