








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 808 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2363 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3631 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1600 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2599 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2469 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,287,429 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dante Wick | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | Emojier | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | silencedmuffinz | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | BIG E Z | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | xdBananna | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EdgeOfaKHole | 11 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Johnny Hollywood | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | silencedmuffinz | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | iTzRushhh | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | TѲЖЇC Abstract | 1 | 0.0006 |





