








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 61 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
769 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 456 | 19% |
| Smokes | 654 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 640 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 634 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $267,121 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #20 | Jokelad | 31% | 13 |
| #21 | Diplo | 29% | 7 |
| #22 | Phuk | 25% | 4 |
| #23 | Prima vareh' | 25% | 4 |
| #24 | LA POMPA | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PAPA DODZ | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Tobbitv | 1 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Diplo | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PAPA DODZ | 123 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #2 | Lundinho | 52 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jokelad | 52 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | croa– | 51 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #5 | TatoH | 43 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hooh | +2.92 | 68 | 80 |
| #2 | raaay | +2.92 | 72 | 68 |
| #3 | NisseFrø- *NoScopeGlasses | +2.74 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | MOTOR | +2.64 | 63 | 72 |
| #5 | croa– | +2.15 | 62 | 83 |





