








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 351 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Esplay | 48 matches | 2,181 | |
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,632 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1735 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2014 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1954 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1929 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,902 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheba | 90% | 10 |
| #2 | hogelele | 76% | 17 |
| #3 | .tob | 75% | 16 |
| #4 | cheeba | 73% | 15 |
| #5 | NisseFrø- *NoScopeGlasses | 71% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #19 | Hugh | 52% | 86 |
| #20 | k0nabear | 47% | 15 |
| #21 | Jungle Jonas | 42% | 43 |
| #22 | Xerioon🐔 | 40% | 10 |
| #23 | ttv Danny_xo | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheeba | 4 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | Hugh | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | BreMathias | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | torri | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Tobbitv | 2 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DKOP | 307 | 0.44 | 11 min |
| #2 | Hugh | 180 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jungle Jonas | 113 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | croa– | 111 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #5 | TatoH | 108 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .tob | +3.83 | 83 | 80 |
| #2 | k0nabear | +2.67 | 88 | 85 |
| #3 | hogelele | +2.22 | 95 | 66 |
| #4 | NisseFrø- *NoScopeGlasses | +2.08 | 65 | 67 |
| #5 | Hugh | +1.96 | 74 | 64 |





