








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
340 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 342 | 28% |
| Smokes | 203 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 376 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 307 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $43,678 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MOTOR | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | wUNDEER | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | #### | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | PAPA DODZ | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Jokelad | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | bRUNOBANANI (it's a name) | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | leadfarmer69 | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | Prima vareh' | 33% | 3 |
| #11 | LA POMPA | 25% | 4 |
| #12 | Lundinho | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Supergizmo | 2 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PAPA DODZ | 112 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #2 | Jokelad | 83 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #3 | wUNDEER | 42 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | cheba | 33 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Supergizmo | 27 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #### | +2.24 | 75 | 44 |
| #2 | wUNDEER | +2.15 | 77 | 76 |
| #3 | PAPA DODZ | +1.40 | 61 | 72 |
| #4 | MOTOR | +1.00 | 59 | 74 |
| #5 | Jokelad | +0.33 | 52 | 67 |





