








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 305 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,026 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7535 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5218 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 8140 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 6133 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,471,711 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan | 57% | 88 |
| #2 | MouldyLunchBox | 53% | 170 |
| #3 | howl | 52% | 407 |
| #4 | ky1e | 52% | 224 |
| #5 | πΉππΎ ββππΌπ½ | 51% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | M i n c h e r z | 48% | 71 |
| #10 | abom | 46% | 104 |
| #11 | ubiquity | 44% | 103 |
| #12 | ACID KING | 43% | 44 |
| #13 | c0n | 42% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | howl | 12 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | πΉππΎ ββππΌπ½ | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | MouldyLunchBox | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | lor | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | ky1e | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | howl | 1406 | 0.18 | 38 min |
| #2 | ky1e | 707 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #3 | Arkky | 379 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | MouldyLunchBox | 372 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | πΉππΎ ββππΌπ½ | 347 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | howl | +3.78 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | ACID KING | +2.74 | 80 | 77 |
| #3 | abom | +1.42 | 68 | 69 |
| #4 | M i n c h e r z | +0.84 | 84 | 61 |
| #5 | MouldyLunchBox | +0.74 | 68 | 67 |





