








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1071 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,590 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 750 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1479 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1243 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1118 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $974,427 of utility $246 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Falco | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | hydrra | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Sküfrük | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | Trüdüm | 62% | 52 |
| #5 | Meister Eder | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trüdüm | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Sküfrük | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Acidman on Andy | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Knebl | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Gotsii | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Acidman on Andy | 139 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Trüdüm | 73 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Falco | 73 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Knebl | 33 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | hydrra | 29 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schwobit | +4.26 | 74 | 53 |
| #2 | Falco | +4.14 | 66 | 56 |
| #3 | Gotsii | +3.86 | 88 | 64 |
| #4 | hydrra | +3.32 | 67 | 65 |
| #5 | Meister Eder | +2.00 | 75 | 40 |





