








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 384 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,679 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2042 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2400 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3815 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2422 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $967,348 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vipex | 69% | 45 |
| #2 | StoanHupfa | 60% | 45 |
| #3 | quisG | 60% | 57 |
| #4 | lex@suzume | 56% | 169 |
| #5 | Hirschy#desertfox | 55% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | lex@suzume | 56% | 169 |
| #5 | Hirschy#desertfox | 55% | 217 |
| #6 | Gladios #bärig | 52% | 113 |
| #7 | HonigDachs83 | 52% | 167 |
| #8 | jaer | 42% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hirschy#desertfox | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | HonigDachs83 | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | jaer | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Gladios #bärig | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | lex@suzume | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hirschy#desertfox | 375 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #2 | HonigDachs83 | 285 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Gladios #bärig | 217 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | jaer | 202 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | StoanHupfa | 200 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quisG | +2.19 | 81 | 77 |
| #2 | brunski-iwnl- | +1.26 | 76 | 65 |
| #3 | HonigDachs83 | +0.61 | 57 | 62 |
| #4 | Vipex | +0.33 | 47 | 64 |
| #5 | StoanHupfa | +0.23 | 76 | 74 |





