










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 345 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 217 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2524 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2423 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4213 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3920 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3497 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $681,648 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brunski-iwnl- | 52% | 167 |
| #2 | StoanHupfa | 47% | 30 |
| #3 | lex@suzume | 46% | 271 |
| #4 | Hirschy#desertfox | 46% | 291 |
| #5 | Vipex | 44% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hirschy#desertfox | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | jaer | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | quisG | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | lex@suzume | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | brunski-iwnl- | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hirschy#desertfox | 499 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #2 | Gladios #bärig | 352 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | jaer | 318 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | lex@suzume | 316 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | brunski-iwnl- | 268 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quisG | +2.26 | 86 | 74 |
| #2 | brunski-iwnl- | +1.55 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | HonigDachs83 | +0.36 | 58 | 61 |
| #4 | Gladios #bärig | -0.05 | 79 | 65 |
| #5 | StoanHupfa | -0.26 | 68 | 64 |





