








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2939 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,667 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2641 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3445 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3527 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3054 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $937,607 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quisG | 56% | 71 |
| #2 | brunski-iwnl- | 56% | 169 |
| #3 | StoanHupfa | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | Vipex | 52% | 69 |
| #5 | Hirschy#desertfox | 49% | 311 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Vipex | 52% | 69 |
| #5 | Hirschy#desertfox | 49% | 311 |
| #6 | Gladios #bärig | 48% | 188 |
| #7 | HonigDachs83 | 46% | 271 |
| #8 | jaer | 46% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HonigDachs83 | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Hirschy#desertfox | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | brunski-iwnl- | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | jaer | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | quisG | 5 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hirschy#desertfox | 523 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #2 | HonigDachs83 | 451 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #3 | Gladios #bärig | 362 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | jaer | 292 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #5 | brunski-iwnl- | 279 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quisG | +2.89 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | brunski-iwnl- | +1.68 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | StoanHupfa | +0.71 | 71 | 66 |
| #4 | HonigDachs83 | +0.53 | 59 | 61 |
| #5 | Gladios #bärig | +0.20 | 77 | 66 |





