








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 353 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 311 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3697 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,024 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3441 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4988 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4547 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4048 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,367,800 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brunski-iwnl- | 55% | 217 |
| #2 | quisG | 55% | 154 |
| #3 | StoanHupfa | 53% | 100 |
| #4 | lex@suzume | 49% | 311 |
| #5 | Vipex | 47% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HonigDachs83 | 15 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | jaer | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | quisG | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | brunski-iwnl- | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Gladios #bärig | 5 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quisG | 517 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | HonigDachs83 | 506 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #3 | jaer | 496 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #4 | Gladios #bärig | 420 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | StoanHupfa | 402 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quisG | +2.01 | 82 | 75 |
| #2 | brunski-iwnl- | +1.49 | 76 | 66 |
| #3 | StoanHupfa | +0.69 | 73 | 69 |
| #4 | HonigDachs83 | +0.62 | 59 | 60 |
| #5 | Gladios #bärig | +0.13 | 79 | 65 |





