








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 313 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2457 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2114 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3244 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3861 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2196 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $800,817 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | quisG | 47% | 81 |
| #6 | Hirschy#desertfox | 47% | 245 |
| #7 | HonigDachs83 | 44% | 192 |
| #8 | Vipex | 43% | 44 |
| #9 | jaer | 36% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hirschy#desertfox | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | HonigDachs83 | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | quisG | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | jaer | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | brunski-iwnl- | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hirschy#desertfox | 420 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #2 | HonigDachs83 | 349 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | quisG | 225 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | lex@suzume | 207 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | jaer | 198 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quisG | +1.66 | 82 | 74 |
| #2 | brunski-iwnl- | +1.19 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | StoanHupfa | +1.00 | 75 | 71 |
| #4 | HonigDachs83 | +0.64 | 58 | 62 |
| #5 | Gladios #bärig | +0.13 | 79 | 65 |





